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On the third day of a recent clinic, a woman participant in her
late fifties who had been off smoking for just over 48 hours asked
one of those questions that I have heard hundreds of times in past
programs. I have smoked so long and so heavily, what good
will quitting smoking do for me now? A few minutes of explaining
the bargaining phase people go through when they are initially quitting
smoking seemed to clarify why she was having such thoughts rationalizing
why she didn't really need to quit.
A few minutes later, she told me a story about her personal family
history, one that quite simply gave a better answer to her original
query than I could ever have come up with. My father was a
chain smoker, she said. He quit when he was 60 because
he had a heart attack. Never smoked one after that. Even though
he was a heart attack victim, after he quit smoking he felt better
than he had felt in years. Much more endurance, greater vitality.
He lived to the age of 95, bright and alert to the end.
On the sixth night I called her to see if she had made it through
the weekend all right. I feel so bad, she replied. I
had a terrible evening last night and I had a major problem dealing
with a client at work this morning. I was just so upset from lack
of sleep and frustration, I finally broke down and took a cigarette.
I've been beating myself up for it ever since. I am more depressed
now than I was before. Why am I beating myself up so, and what should
I do now?
I said she had two options, quit right then and face a potential
full three day withdrawal or go back to full fledged smoking all
over again. If she didn't make a decision, her body would automatically
make the decision for her. Again she expressed the sentiment that
she was beating herself up so badly and wanted me to explain why
she was so upset with herself. She just couldn't believe that one
cigarette could be so important to be making such a big issue.
A few minutes later, she told me the story of how her husband had
once been off for three years. One day while they were in the car
together, for one reason or another he bummed a cigarette from her.
She raised the issue with him of what good would a cigarette be
after all that time, but he convinced her it was no big deal. What
right did she have to protest anyway, she thought, she was a chain
smoker herself. He finally got his way. He never stopped smoking
after that day. Four years later she got a call at work that her
husband had collapsed at her mother-in-law's home. By the time they
got to him it was too late. He had died of a sudden and totally
unexpected heart attack. She has little doubt that his last four
years of smoking was a major contributing factor to his sudden and
premature death.
So why was she now making such a big deal out of a cigarette? Once
again, her own personal history was giving her a more powerful answer
than I could ever have expressed. One cigarette, in a car a number
of years earlier helped to end her husband's life. If he had known
the implication that one cigarette would have had, he would never
have considered the thought for more than a second. In retrospect,
she had the opportunity to look back to that day and realize how
a fleeting urge followed by poor judgment helped to end or shorten
her husband's life.
With the kind of personal experiences she had witnessed associated
with smoking, it is quite easy to see how she could be so hard on
herself for what occurred earlier that day. She witnessed how smoking
diminished the quality of her father's life and almost brought on
a premature death. Equally important, she saw how quitting smoking
vastly improved his health and general feeling of well being. She
also witnessed how her husband's momentary lapse of judgment resulted
in her suffering such a grave loss just a few years earlier. If
he had the opportunity, he would surely have cursed the day he lit
just one. She had the benefit of hindsight, which now was haunting
her because she had made the same mistake that day he had made just
a few years earlier. He never got the chance to quit again. She
still had time to make a decision - and she was asking me what she
should do now. Again, I feel her own personal experience and the
immediate emotional reactions she was now experiencing were giving
a more powerful answer to her question than I could. If she listened
to her heart, I am sure it was telling her to -
NEVER TAKE ANOTHER PUFF!
Table of Contents
1. Why
People Smoke
2. I
Smoke Because I Like Smoking!
3. I
Smoke Because I'm Self-Destructive!
4. You
Smoke Because You're A Smoke-a-holic!
5. I
Have to Smoke Because of All My Stress!
6.
I've Smoked for So Long and So Much, What is the Use in Quitting
Now?
7.
What A Relief, I Think I Have Cancer!
8. The
Power of Advertising
9. A
Safer Way to Smoke
10.Are
You Smoking More and Enjoying it Less?
11.A
Fate Worse than Death?
12. Quitting
by Gradual Withdrawal
13. I
Can't Quit or I Won't Quit
14.Why
Did I Start Smoking? Why Did I Quit?"
Quit
Smoking Tips
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